The first Dol I did was in 2006.
It was a pencil drawing I re-did in illustrator. It was raw and simple. Red, yellow and black.
She held the head of what she once loved close to her chest. standing in a little yellow nighty. Her eyes gone nearly as dark has how her heart felt from crying through mascara, burning her eyes. And she also wore heart dotted knee length socks as she squished the body of 'Steffy' under her foot, "Poor Steffy"..
I was going through some old work and found it and it made me smile because I thought how far along I am now from not just the style of work but the feelings then.
The first Dol was called "Poor Steffy" .. That's what I named the stuffed toy. At the time 'Steffy' just represented one thing. Over time it represented all my fears, worries, concerns, aspirations and ambitions I am scared I will never achieve. The pressures of other things, like the things a girl is constantly burdened with having to be. Those annoyances of growing up.
I think it's really funny to think of that now and just how you never think something really cool and beautiful and amazing can come out of such a terrible and awful thing in your life and you definitelty never expect how beautifully it changes you and makes you better inspite of it all.
You move on, you move along. It grows you and makes you strong and yes eventually you see a very possible 'Forgive and Forget' for some things, one day at a time. Until that big scary bunny goes back to being a tiny thing that hold even less sentiment that a stuffed toy you once cherished.
It's just a past that inspired a beautiful and colourful future. and the present and the future is so much more amazing than I could have ever hoped and I’m enjoying seeing what else develops.
